Clik here to view.
Mitt Romney Campaign Using “Ron Paul Diversion Vehicles”
The Ass Press Posted: 06/20/2012 6:00:52 PM PDT Tampa, FL — In shocking news just released this morning, sources say Mitt Romney and his campaign for President are using funds to buy up what is being...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Mitt Romney Leaving The Mormon Religion For Christianity
The Ass Press Posted: 07/4/2012 4:15:52 PM PDT Provo, UT — Mormons around the world were shocked to learn today that Presidential hopeful Mitt Romney has denounced his lifetime religion of Mormonism...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Mitt Romney To Legalize Marijuana And Gay Marriage, Once In Office
The Ass Press Posted: 07/26/2012 6:00:49 AM PDT Washington, DC. — Marijuana users and advocates for gay marriage around the country are celebrating after Mitt Romney once again pledged his hatred for...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Clint Eastwood Takes Chair On Nationwide Comedy Tour
The Ass Press Posted: 09/10/2012 8:00:11 AM PDT Tampa, FL — Clint Eastwood is taking his empty-chair routine from the Republican National Convention on a nationwide comedy tour. The ‘Clint Eastwood...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Mitt Romney Inspires 47% Of Americans Not To Be Losers Anymore
The Ass Press Posted: 09/18/2012 6:00:11 PM PDT Washington, D.C. — A video surfaced the other day from a private fund-raising event that was held for Mitt Romney in May of this year. The tape shows...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Mitt Romney’s Economic Plan Unveiled Today In Washington
The Ass Press Posted: 09/29/2012 6:00:14 PM PDT Washington, DC — Mitt Romney held a press conference today to announce his full-proof plan to fix the economy once in office. “We can completely...
View ArticleClik here to view.
eHarmony Acquires Romney’s Binders Full Of Women For Their Premium Members
The Ass Press Posted: 10/20/2012 11:00:42 PM PDT Santa Monica, CA — The online dating website eHarmony is proud to announce that it has purchased Mitt Romney’s binders full of women and is making them...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Fuck Mitt Romney.
Note: This article is currently being reviewed by the Pulitzer Prize Board of Directors. Awards for the Pulitzer and excellence in journalism will be announced by the end of this year. Washington, D.C....
View ArticleClik here to view.
Mitt Romney Drops Out Of Race: Endorses Obama For President
Washington, D.C. — Mitt Romney held a press conference today to announce he is stepping down as the Republican nominee and is now endorsing Barack Obama for president. This comes as shocking news to...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Facebook Whistleblower Says Fake Accounts Makeup Half Of All Current Users
Paul Horner seen here (not his real name) talks to the BBC News about Facebook and their hundreds of thousands of fake accounts. London, England — An insider working at the offices of Facebook in...
View Article
